After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
