How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
