Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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