(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize