I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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