The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
