its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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