Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
