I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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