hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
