He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
