you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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