people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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