i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She's the barista slut.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
