on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
