everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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