You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
