Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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