all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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