ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
