there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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