we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
