make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
