I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize