so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
