found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Randomize
