Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
