I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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