I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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