and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
