fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.