alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum