Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick