there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.