This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
