whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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