Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
