me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
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We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
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I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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