I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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