Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
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I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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