you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
