weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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