I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my shit smells like andre
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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