I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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