I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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