My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize