Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
