why didn't you poke me back
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
