Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
