I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
