drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
