shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
