Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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