I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
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I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
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Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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