Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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