This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
