I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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