It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
