I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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