You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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