Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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