I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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