You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
