Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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