Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
