Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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